


Never So Empty

by orphan_account



Category: The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Character Death, Death, Death in Childbirth, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-22
Updated: 2013-06-22
Packaged: 2017-12-15 18:30:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/852694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thor has traveled the nine realms and seen many things in his centuries of godhood.  What could possibly make everything seem so empty?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never So Empty

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where this came from and I am not too thrilled with it, but I wanted to try my hand at writing something angsty. Hope it's not too OOC for any character. Totally unrelated to my other Jane and Thor fics. I promise. I should be finished with "Darcy's Guide" soon, actually.

The funeral of Jane Foster was a tenebrous affair. It was raining in the golden city of Asgard, and the oppressive shadow of a roiling storm weighed down on everyone’s shoulders, hearts, and minds. The rain dulled the glow of the monuments and clung to awnings, rooftops, and noses. Droplets mingled with the tears of the crowd who gathered around a silver casket sheltered by silk curtains. She wasn’t supposed to die, not yet. 

Beside the casket stood Thor, head bowed in regret, in anger, in defeat. He looked to be carved of stone, his brow throwing deep shadows over his eyes which remained trained on the small, delicate form resting before him. His lips were sealed tightly, and he did not as much as blink while the rain pelted his backside- after all, he had summoned the storm. 

Jane looked peaceful. It wasn’t fair, he told himself, for her to appear so serene and calm as if she had no inkling, not even the slightest knowledge that this was her own funeral. There was no hint of the pain, the suffering that had creased her eyes in their last shining moment. Her hands were folded neatly across her chest, and her hair had been brushed and braided in Asgardian fashion, arranged neatly so as to frame her face with the shimmering locks that had been decorated with little white flowers. She was so small. She had been small in her life, in stature but not in spirit. But death seemed to shrink her further, withdrawing from her the last of the strength that had been so beautiful. 

And yet, she didn’t know it. She would never know it. But Thor did, and he found it increasingly harder to gaze upon her form without blaming himself for robbing her of her last moments. 

No, it was not his fault. It had been their daughter who had done this, her first act of life. Neither of them could have foreseen that the child would be the cause of her death, but here they were now in the royal gardens, Thor keeping vigil as Jane lay silent. Darcy held the young baby who whimpered in the cold. She kissed the child whose father did not want to see her and drew the baby closer to give warmth. What a broken family they’d become. 

-

“Mr. Odinson, I am very sorry but there are complications with the delivery.” 

“Complications?” Thor bellowed. “What can you mean by that?” 

The nurse held her clipboard tight as if it would protect her, like a sort of shield. “The doctor says that while he will do his best to help both your wife and the baby, it may only be possible to save one of them. I’m very sorry.” 

The warrior growled deep in his throat and shoved the woman aside, barreling down the hall and into the room where his wife was giving birth. Darcy had heard his cries from the waiting room, and she rushed to follow him, knowing full well that something was wrong with her best friend. 

No one could have quite predicted that the very child Jane was keeping alive would be killing her. Maybe it was that no one wanted to acknowledge her perceived frailty, or maybe it was that no one truly suspected she was in any danger outside of a normal pregnancy. Whatever it had been, now they were here facing the harsh reality that Jane Foster, beloved friend, sister, and wife, might not survive. 

Darcy immediately retreated to the corner of the room, unable to bear seeing her friend in such visible distress, from what little she could see through the flurry of medics working at Jane’s bedside. She silently vowed she would never have children, but she needed her friend to pull through. They all needed her. 

Thor, on the other hand, grew angry with the doctors and nurses working to save his wife and his daughter. Why could they not do more? 

“You will save both of them, is that understood?” he rumbled. 

Jane gave a piercing scream and Darcy winced. Thor stood firm and threatened the doctors once more. 

“Mr. Odinson, I’m very sorry, but at this point if you don’t indicate whose life you would rather save, we may lose them both.” 

Jane had already made the decision for him, though, whether he realized it or not. Their daughter was born healthy, but everyone knew without speaking that the mother was not doing as well. Her vital signs and various monitors began to give readings that none of them wanted to see. Her heart was palpitating, and everything about this moment seemed so sad when they should have celebrated the beautiful new life. Instead, they were losing a life. 

The doctors took the baby to be cleaned, and Thor did not even spare a glance at the child as he darted down beside his wife. Darcy came over to the other side, and Jane’s feeble hand grasped her friend’s wrist. 

“Darcy, I’m so tired,” she whimpered sadly, the thick fog of pain clouding her thoughts. 

“I know, Janie,” Darcy managed, her throat clenched. She bit the inside of her cheek. “But you need to stay awake, just for a little longer, okay? You need to see your daughter, you need to stay awake. We need you, Jane,” she pleaded, failing to hide her anguish as silvery tears slipped off her lashes. 

Jane gave a weak nod, but it was clear she was nearly gone. Thor was stunned into silence, peppering small kisses on her hand and forehead, as if he could give her some of his own strength, just to keep her alive long enough to heal her. 

“I love her,” Jane said in a whisper. 

“What?” Thor and Darcy chimed in unison. 

With a shaky breath, the small, tired woman tried to bring herself to sit up, but was too weak to do so. “I love my daughter. Thor, I love our daughter, and you make sure she knows that, please.” 

Darcy cupped her hands to her mouth, muffling her sobs, as Thor kissed Jane’s hand feverishly and softly told her, “You will tell her yourself, my love. You will.” 

“I’m so tired,” Jane murmured again, closing her eyes slowly and finally. Death seemed to smooth every wrinkle from her face, to relax her after nothing else could. Every groove, every line dropped as if they too had been holding their breath, waiting for the moment of repose. And in one final stroke, the jittering heart monitor was leveled by death’s cold touch, everything about Jane now flattened and subdued. 

-

There was a great banquet held in Jane’s honor in one of the mead halls. Many partook in the drinking and feasting, though there was a nagging guilt in the minds and hearts of those who even for a moment sought to relieve themselves of the pain of the day’s proceedings. Thor stood at the edge of the room, looking over the city through a water-stained window. Darcy quietly walked over to him, the baby sleeping in her arms. 

“Thor,” she murmured. The warrior did not afford her as much as a nod. “Thor, look at me.” 

The Asgardian glanced sideways at the young woman. He saw the child, and turned back to face the window with an irreverent sniff. 

“Look, Thor, I miss her too. No one misses her more than you, I know, but you’re not the only one hurting.” 

“Jane deserves Valhalla,” he said offhandedly. 

“Wonderful. Thor, you’re not the only one who needed Jane. You have a daughter to think about now!” Darcy raised her voice, still taking care not to wake the child. “She’s all you have left of Jane, don’t you want to honor that memory?” 

“If it were not for the child, Jane would still be here,” he growled, growing visibly irritated with the mortal woman. 

“But this is what you two wanted! Damn it, Thor, I can’t be burdened with caring for your daughter alone,” Darcy said, tears welling in her eyes. “This baby wants to love you, and I just know it will kill Jane all over to see you angry at the kid for something she had no control over!” She held out the child, who was woken by the angry words, and forced Thor to take her. Darcy stormed off, wiping tears with the back of her hand as she ran from the hall. 

Thor stared down at the squirming child. This had been the first time he held their still-nameless offspring, and he weakened to see the infant so blissfully unaware of what transpired around her. 

“Totra,” he whispered. A name for the child who had torn his world to shreds. The name left his tongue with a sour taste and resentment in his stomach. He looked in her eyes, which were a rich, warm brown just as her mother’s had been. Darcy spoke truly, and his daughter was all he had left to remember Jane by. He held the writhing child in his arms and wept bitterly. 

Never in all of his centuries of godhood had the nine realms felt so empty. 


End file.
